Out of Control

My trip to Haiti was framed on both ends by tears. I worried and stewed at the beginning that I wouldn't have anything to offer once I got there. I'm the girl who wants to write the book about "Everything I learned about life, I learned on the back of a Jet Ski" Lesson 1: It's more fun to drive than ride. Be in control, in other words. Well, my first night I lay in bed and wept at the foolishiness of what I was doing. For me, this was an "out of control moment". Everything was unfamiliar, everything was wAAAy out of my comfort zone. I was very distressed. But as you can see from all my posts everything I found and did was covered over by incredible grace. From teaching through an interpreter, to prayer walks, serving children, to the food we ate and the people we dealt with, I learned I didn't need to be in control. God already has this place firmly in HIS grip. This trip was huge in terms of what I learned and of how my faith was strengthened. So that when the time came to come home, just 7 short days later I found myself weeping again. Crying on the plane from Florida to Iowa knowing that I have lived a very selfish, self centered, ungrateful life. It has been an "All about ME" theme. How could I fly back to smooth roads, warm a home, a full refigerator, elecricity, running water (and the list keeps going) and not somehow be changed by all this. I could never end the poverty in Haiti but at the very least I can become a grateful person. I might not ever change a single life in that country even by my one visit, but I can allow God to change me. I can through the power and control of God be different. I'm not sure yet, how that will look. But I'll keep you posted.

The Bus

I don't know how many more Haiti stories you all can stand, but there are so many swirling around in my head right now, I can hardly keep from talking about them.
One of the biggest things that happened while we were there related to "the bus". The bus story is in itself rather lengthy and if I actually got all the details right you might be impressed. But I'm bound to forget some important point, So I think I'm better off just giving you the gist. The bus, when it first arrived in Haiti about 2-3 years ago, was happily used for only a short period of time before it was driven into a river and ruined. Completely. As in, if it were in the U.S. it would have been junked out for parts. This was a major disappointment because it was such a widely used part of the ministry. And you'd agree since there's no one who has vehicles there except the missionaries and other aid workers. But instead, for 2 years running, a top notch mechanic (as seen in above photo) went down and worked on it. Scrounging for parts, working 12 hour days and above all, praying that it would be fixed. There were several funny stories that the guys who worked on this were all able to tell, about finding parts, running all over, having the Haitians help yada yada yada. The second to the last day of our visit, they were able to start the bus and actually run it back to the compound. They tinkered some more and It is officially fixed! The point to my story is, I was as excited about having this bus fixed as if I actually did something. When in reality, the only thing I really did was offer up some very half hearted prayers. I really didn't even pray too intelligently when it came to fixing this thing. I have no idea what I was praying about. i.e. "O Lord, help them get the manifold, transmission, transformed." You see what I mean. Good thing God can work in spite of me. Good thing God wasn't waiting for my prayers so He could work in the first place. His business is manifold transformation. I can go join in. God is indeed at work in Haiti!

Modern Haiti

The sun set in Haiti around 6:30 p.m. Once that happened it was dark. Really dark. While there was a generator on the compound and we had lights in the evening for awhile, no one else did. We went out in the evening several times and people were everywhere wandering around in that blackness. No flashlights. No candles. No oil lamps. There were no electrical lines into Pignon or Bo Hoc where we were staying. But one thing that was there: cell phones! It was the most incongrous thing I've ever seen. (They haven't had lessons in cell phone ettiquete yet either) Here are these people with nothing but they all have cell phones. The picture above is of a solar cell phone charger. The guy who owns it charges a small fee and relies on the one constant that Haiti seems to have: plenty of sunshine! But when you think about it, owning a cell phone makes a bit of sense. It certainly saves time. You can check to see if someone has something you might need ahead of time and save yourself a long walk if they don't. Haitian time runs similar to other places where clocks don't abound. Things happen when you (or everyone) gets there. So having a cell phone comes in handy there too.
The one light that we could see at night came from the cell phone tower. Very odd.

Church in Haiti

We held Vacation Bible School in 3 different churches. They were the churches that were in charge of the three feeding centers that the mission runs. They have a big stake in feeding the children of their community. The only thing that outsiders do is provide the money to purchase the rice, beans and cabbage. After that, the churches take over. There were strict standards as to who got fed. Children were weighed and measured and they had to be weaned and not over 10 years old. These kids were brought to the centers by their mothers or older siblings. It was here, at these churches that we did the VBS programs. The contrast was interesting. The first church was pretty nice by Haitian standards: painted and roofed, with a sound system even, and pews. The second was nothing more than an open air pole barn. The kind we might keep an animal in. With some benches. The third was between two rows of trees. Rope was strung up and some sheets were put up. There were a few benches. The first two had "bells". A tire rim that could be beaten to signal the beginning of church. None the less, I was impressed with the pastors and their enthusiasm and excitement about being able to do this kind of ministry. We showed up just in time to pass out a few things, but mostly we were just observers. The real work was already being done.

Haiti pictures

Enjoy the trip!

Drops in the Bucket

You know how dreams are. They are supposed to be subconscious representations of what's going on in your life. I believe it! I had a dream(nightmare is a better word)on Tuesday morning that made me sit up in bed in a panic. I dreamt I was taking care of a disabled child for a friend. Her name was Sarah. Some waiter came along and offered me a sandwich then left. Someone else showed up after mr. waiter, and asked how come I didn't have any food for this child. (Slap my forehead) what was I thinking? So I wandered off hunting for food for Sarah. Of course, when I got back she was gone. I briefly saw her down by the road where the traffic was roaring by, but she for some reason she couldn't understand my calls for her to get away from the road. Then she was near the pool and I rushed over there. I couldn't see her anywhere so I stepped into the water covered parking lot and immediately sank in the water. There was Sarah. Suspended in the water. Not moving. I knew I could still save her. If only I could get to her. I woke up about then, never having the chance to save her. I think that's what made me feel so bad.
All the things we did in Haiti, from helping at the feeding center, to VBS with kids, teaching, fixing, sharing were like a drop in an ocean. The need is so great and my ability to help is too small for such need.
And now we're home. Oh don't worry, I'll have more to tell you in general, but for now, as I come down from this experience I find myself feeling ashamed of my materialism and waste. This morning (Friday) I find myself crying at odd moments like when I woke up in my soft comfortable, air conditioned bed/room. Or when we were flying towards what I knew would be my warm cozy home. Crazy tears. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. God has been so good. But in the middle of all that is a greater requirement for me..."and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God."

The Road in Haiti

The roads here are ... well, it's the dry season, and I guess they're in the best shape you could hope for. But let me tell you that's not much to brag about! Some have been graded recently according to the locals. Wow. I'd hate to see them in worse shape. The ruts are often 2 or 3 feet deep and the rocks are everywhere. Actually there's no rhyme or reason for most of the rut placement. But put a pickup on it and go with 12 to 14 people in the back of the truck and you're in for an exciting time of the kind that you don't necessarily want to have! I made the mistake of riding in the back of the truck when we came from the plane to the house. EEEK! I wanted in the worst way to take pictures, but alas, it was not to be. I could barely sit and hold on to the camera. IT gave new meaning to 'bone jarring'! I was never so glad to finally be somewhere! And sadly, I had to satisfy myself with pictures in my head and writing down the first impressions: cows and goats being led by young boys, women with loads on their heads, dirt over everything from the dusty road, houses surrounded by cactus fences, clothes drying on the fences, thatched huts, swept dirt...
I can only imagine what it must be like in the rainy season. The mud must be tremendous. They have one big hill near their house that is packed and firm and must be as bad as trying to run up a snowy icy hill when they have rain. Wow.