Thursday, February 26, 2009

Hwy 60

It was raining and icing as I went to work this morning. I haven't had such a horrible driving winter. Just bad enough to make me cautious. I could see from the K64 hill that traffic was not moving very fast. But in comparison to the blacktop, I could fly along. A normal trip would be 20 minutes. Today it took 30 minutes.
The pine tree is a great landmark. The Sioux/Plymouth County line. Railroad parallels the hwy. Fields and more fields. Around the curve and past the Seeny Cemetery. It's an easy drive.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A very Miscellaneous Day

I'm listening to "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" by Tolstoy. I am depressed. Maybe it will end better.

The dog can't get up on the bed anymore. Age? Can't be his weight, he doesn't change that.

Amy has a birthday on Saturday and I don't think her present is going to get to her on time. How would I know that? They (the store) haven't called me yet and it's Wednesday already.

I learned about firewalls today. Apparently ours at work isn't the high end kind. So I have to decide if I want to leave a door open for my automation system, close it and make them ask permission to come in when they need to, or spend $5,000 to upgrade my firewall. Ha!

I think we could have walked outside this morning. But in the spirit of not doing that until at least March I was congenial about the inside thing.

I have 3 books at home right now. Reading is a struggle in the evening.

PT this morning. They taped my shoulder today. Also got a heat treatment. Those are just lovely. Too bad they actually make me work that shoulder before I leave. It hurts again.

Ron is not feeling well, but his appetite was good tonight!

It's twice this week that I heard about heaven.... and the details about what we know of it. Once from my brother and once, on the way home from work, from my grandson. Amazing that they both said nearly the same thing. (Ok my brother's had a different reason)

I am getting tired of my lunch routine.

Speech tomorrow for the Lion's. At least I'm not giving the same one that I did the first time. Do you all know what these mean: DVD, SILO, ILL,EBSCO,JF,SHHHHHH.....

We didn't get a cancellation in the right way and now the company is saying we owe nearly $600. Ouch.

I forgot my IPod today. No music. Too bad, it really does help soothe the savage beast.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Strength for the Journey

It's been at least 20 years since I've seen her. That girl that I knew is ravaged. But she knew me as I knew her, and all the things that tie us together came flooding back. As I looked at her slumped over, unable to form any words at all, or control how she moved, and I as watched her slide down in the couch unable to change the course of her movements, I wondered at God's plan and timing. I was seeing my cousin in the ending stages of cancer, in those now unfightable stages, I thought that it's no wonder we get it all wrong. Why we wonder at "how in the world could this happen." Crying quietly with the poor guy that's taking care of her who is already beside himself with grief, saying "it's just not right". Any platitude I could offer would seem dull and empty except that I know we see it all wrong. God didn't abandon us to the horror of what sin does, instead He rescued us. He provided the way even though the dreadfulness of cancer still comes upon us. He wasn't even caught off guard by all of this. He knew it before we exsisted. That incredible gift of Jesus has to be explained. We have to look at all this from a different perspective. I must. I can't leave them with this pain that seems so unbearable.
What could I do? My hands can't heal her, but they could hold her. I had to tell her that she wasn't forgotten or forsaken:
He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him.


The thing is, I can't tell you how uncomfortable jus the thought of making this trip had made me. When my brother called to propose going, I told him I was thinking of sending a card, or at the most, making a phone call. Not a visit. That's just too uncomfortable. He didn't let me worm out of it, only because I'd sensed God speaking to me earlier about sacrifices. But as soon as I stepped through the door I knew that the decision to go and see what I could do was the right one. I never stopped being uncomfortable, but that was OK. More than anything, I need to learn to be comfortable with that uncomfortableness. May He lead me this direction more often.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Flying trip

Had a long road trip this weekend!Like, over the river and through the woods. What do you do as you ride along... Ha! With your brother no less? Do you have entertainment that you use on your family trips? Here's what we did: Get caught up on family matters... laugh.... discuss the itinerary.... eat pretzels and cheese.... listen to music that's on the IPod..... remember... stop for gas.... (several times in fact) nap...(well, just one of us naps) And all around us are miles of oncoming traffic, rolling hills, frozen cornfields. We run into snow midway through through the trip. The car doesn't handle the snow on the road too well.

Then we cross the Illinois River at Peoria. We've arrived. Finding an address in the dark is a challenge. Good thing we weren't on the Amazing Race because we took a couple of short misturns. And knocked on the wrong door. My directional shorthand notes were a bit difficult to decipher!! Funny the directions I remembered that were never given. And our trip back? Rehashing the weekend... music... movie games...

The whole trip lasted 36hours.