Monday, February 21, 2011

On forgiving

I have , like many others, been in this position many times.. Needing to forgive. From experience I know i must find a way fo let this go. Really, the hurt comes from a direction i wasnt expecting, and I'm pretty sure these people really have no idea. There are clearly two sides to my heart in this, you know, the one that is so crushed and dismayed that it insists on clinging to the pain. I am trying not to cuddle up to it, or to let it grow in me, but I sense it taking root. Yesterday I heard from my pastor that forgiving doesn't mean that what was done is ok, or that it somehow makes everything fi e, it just gives you ( me in this case) release. I so need that. I need to let this go. I need to not nurture this pain let it root and take hold of me. I think too, that it's not like I've never unintentionally, or even intentionally hurt someone. I have graciously received forgiveness many times. I guess the other huge struggle is in knowing what my continued responsibility to these people is? Do send them birthday cards. Invite them for meals? Call and chat like I used to on occasion? I want to ignore them nd just cut them off. Nicely of course. If I never saw these people again that would be fine with me, however I suspect forgiveness won't let me off quite that easily.
"this is how the heavenly father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart"

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Gratefulness

I saw someone else doing this. On their blog. I wondered at the numbered lists, but when I figured it out I realized what a great idea it was. Actually I read a whole book about this: Developing the habit and attitude of gratitude. I led a Sunday School class for 8 weeks where we dove into developing gratitude in our lives. It is a very appealing quality in other people. In fact, I'm quite drawn to people who are creatively thankful. By that I mean, they go above and beyond just saying Thank You. They actually ACT thankful, and tell others how thankful they are. Well, I don't want it to be too smothering or anything and really there's nothing wrong with a plain " thank you", but I do want to grow in my gratefulness. Perhaps that will keep me from my 'moodiness' (or sullenness if you will) It's a part of the 'LIVE OUT LOUD' move for me. So I have a new tool to help me. Well, not really new, just different and more fun. My IPAD. I put a journal App on it right away so it's my 2011 journal. I put away the pen and I am typing this year. So far, so Cool. My point? At the end of every day's entry I have space to reflect. I am listing 5 specific things that I'm grateful for. I may elaborate on what I mean, or it might just be a list. The point, of course, is to conciously think about all the things in my life that should make me truly a more grateful person. Then I will add one specific action that also shows more gratefulness from me. Like writing a thank you letter.... So. Want to join me???