"The longest journey begins with a single step". Hard for me to believe I have taken this many "steps" with this one single person. He has always been, and will always be, the one I would want to walk with through life. You know, when you are just getting married they tell you that 'it's not easy.' "marriage is hard work" "you'll see trials and troubles"...blah blah. I remember thinking, as I was surrounded by all those 'marriage pros' (i.e. my parents and in-laws) on my wedding day, that surely I would be different. Love would be effortless. This amazing feeling that I had on this, my wedding day, couldn't possibly ever change. Well, I'm here to tell you, 'they' were right. It has been work, it hasn't been a piece of cake, and that wonderful wedding day feeling? Well, it didn't last too long. I found out quickly: Love is not a feeling. It's a commitment to lots of work.
My 39 year partner would surely tell you that I haven't always been the most fabulous, sexy, interesting, engaging or appealing person to live with, but he has never given up on me. I think he entertains the thought every day, "well today could be the day when she'll be everything I hoped she would be. I can't give up on her now." So he takes the time to pray with me every morning, kisses me before he heads off to work, and greets me the same way when we're back together again at night. Steady rock-ness. That's what I have in him. He has gone out of his way to bring out the best in me.. Not an easy to be sure. He has actively engaged in fatherhood (changing dirty diapers and getting up in the middle of the night with sick kids) participated in the household chores (wash, cooking and willingly doing the 'list'). He (almost) always asks what he can do to help, and has always always always given me room to grow. He is plagued by the 'I can fix it' syndrome, but I love him for it anyway, even when it annoys me. The one thing, though that has been the glue in our relationship is not some dogged determination to stick together, it's that we earnestly want our journey to be about honoring God, the creator and sustainer of our marriage in the first place. It's God who has done this thing. Not my husband. Not me. Without Him, our efforts would be... about us.
39 years ago one cold, sunny April afternoon we started off together. We knew from the beginning anyway, that it would not be about us. This has been our life verse together: "Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain" (ps. 127:1) I didn't really know what that would look like. 3 kids, 5 moves, 1 unemployment bout, career change, sickness and health, 5 grandchildren later....It has been nothing short of amazing.
It's been a pretty short trip to here, but I hope we still have a way to go ... There's lots yet I'm hoping to see and learn together!
2 comments:
You guys are a great example of what a real marriage looks like and how it operates. You are a blessing to us.
Absolutely touching! You should have Ron read this one. Congratulations on your 39 years of marriage. Sorry I didn't tell you on the actual day. I certainly had opportunity to say it since I was even with you to take this "anniversary" picture! May God bless you with many more years together.
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