I have , like many others, been in this position many times.. Needing to forgive. From experience I know i must find a way fo let this go. Really, the hurt comes from a direction i wasnt expecting, and I'm pretty sure these people really have no idea. There are clearly two sides to my heart in this, you know, the one that is so crushed and dismayed that it insists on clinging to the pain. I am trying not to cuddle up to it, or to let it grow in me, but I sense it taking root. Yesterday I heard from my pastor that forgiving doesn't mean that what was done is ok, or that it somehow makes everything fi e, it just gives you ( me in this case) release. I so need that. I need to let this go. I need to not nurture this pain let it root and take hold of me. I think too, that it's not like I've never unintentionally, or even intentionally hurt someone. I have graciously received forgiveness many times. I guess the other huge struggle is in knowing what my continued responsibility to these people is? Do send them birthday cards. Invite them for meals? Call and chat like I used to on occasion? I want to ignore them nd just cut them off. Nicely of course. If I never saw these people again that would be fine with me, however I suspect forgiveness won't let me off quite that easily.
"this is how the heavenly father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart"
2 comments:
Sue - SO TRUE and right where I am as well. I think it's even harder when they are believers - I just keep thinking - this is not at all what God wants from us. SO I need to let it go and move on as well - it's hard when you'd like to make it right and others aren't willing too - and it distracts us from what our whole mission is here.
Love you girl! (And thanks for the words just for me today!)
Our pastor just spoke about forgiveness yesterday, too. As we were walking out of the sanctuary, I asked my husband, "so, do you think that liking someone again goes along with forgiving them?" because that is what I struggle with. I've tried to let go of hurt, tried to forgive, yet the "liking that person again" part isn't there.
And I think of that verse in Romans "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Does that extend to birthday cards and invitations to your home, and to liking them again? Is it just a cop-out on my part, saying "I'm just not able"?
So, until I figure out the answer to that, I guess I need to take to heart what Rich said yesterday and put this into practice: instead of praying for that person, reminding Him of how she hurt me, I need to start praying about myself. Look at my sin, and what the Lord has forgiven me for, and see how much I have been forgiven. Allow Him to open my eyes. And maybe He'll show me the answer!
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