You know how dreams are. They are supposed to be subconscious representations of what's going on in your life. I believe it! I had a dream(nightmare is a better word)on Tuesday morning that made me sit up in bed in a panic. I dreamt I was taking care of a disabled child for a friend. Her name was Sarah. Some waiter came along and offered me a sandwich then left. Someone else showed up after mr. waiter, and asked how come I didn't have any food for this child. (Slap my forehead) what was I thinking? So I wandered off hunting for food for Sarah. Of course, when I got back she was gone. I briefly saw her down by the road where the traffic was roaring by, but she for some reason she couldn't understand my calls for her to get away from the road. Then she was near the pool and I rushed over there. I couldn't see her anywhere so I stepped into the water covered parking lot and immediately sank in the water. There was Sarah. Suspended in the water. Not moving. I knew I could still save her. If only I could get to her. I woke up about then, never having the chance to save her. I think that's what made me feel so bad.
All the things we did in Haiti, from helping at the feeding center, to VBS with kids, teaching, fixing, sharing were like a drop in an ocean. The need is so great and my ability to help is too small for such need.
And now we're home. Oh don't worry, I'll have more to tell you in general, but for now, as I come down from this experience I find myself feeling ashamed of my materialism and waste. This morning (Friday) I find myself crying at odd moments like when I woke up in my soft comfortable, air conditioned bed/room. Or when we were flying towards what I knew would be my warm cozy home. Crazy tears. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. God has been so good. But in the middle of all that is a greater requirement for me..."and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God."
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