Struggling with grief

I have always struggled with knowing what are the right words to say to someone who has faced a loss. Saying you're sorry doesn't seem adequate enough when someone you love has died, or faces some horrible situation. Even saying "I'm praying" can seem trite or insincere. So how do you love people who are hurting? What do you say to people in pain? Worse, what if they don't want to hear any platitudes at all. Then what? When my father died suddenly and unexpectedly the only help through the grief was the support and surrounding arms of people who loved us. Of all the words in all the sympathy cards those that told of personal things about my dad, and what kind of man he was, were the most helpful. Nothing eased the shock. Nothing tempered the pain. But the kindness of the community and their overwhelming love carried us through. At all costs I would rather avoid difficult situations because I don't think I'm up to the 'carrying power' that it takes. But at some time or another, every single one of us needs to be carried through. We need each other and the kindness and love and encouragement we can give to one another.