The Wait

I feel like life is in suspension right now. I am in waiting mode. Only 6 more days until we leave for Haiti. I am having regular night time dreams about it now! Every morning I get up and rearrange my packed stuff. When I can pack my underwear I will know that the waiting is almost over!

I have spent many hours waiting, actually, so you would think I am used to it. Or something. Impatiently I waited through my 14 month engagement period. I thought that would never end. I only wanted to be MARRIED! Impatiently I waited nearly 2 years for the birth of my first child. I thought I would never stop being pregnant. (and believe me, an eternal pregnancy is something you don't want to have happen) Impatiently (still with the impatient thing) I waited for my children to grow up. That long 20 + years period I didn't enjoy nearly as much as I could have because I kept wondering 'how tall will they be? Who will they marry? Where will they live?......, (mind you, it wasn't all impatience.There are many memories of good family times together) I have waited for our house to be built so I could finally move in; waited to finally get a job in teaching, waited for vacation, waited in the car, waited in line, waited for kids, waited for my husband, waited to be done, waited to get going.... Why I bet 3/4 of my time is waiting. And Still I am impatient. One of my favorite authors, Louis L'Amour said it: "life isn't about getting to the destination. It's about the journey" So I know that I need to relax and live these next six days in eager expectation, and longing, but not impatiently. For of all the things I am sure about, the waiting time seems miniscule now that I can look back on it. And who wants to just be looking back and seeing only how impatient I've always been? Sheesh.