Family get together

Holiday family times are wonderful. Can't tell you how much I enjoy getting together with the whole crazy family. I've discovered that our quirks cause much amusement for other people. For that I am truly glad. Otherwise, the chatter would just be meaningless banter and the 'quarrelsome-ness' of it could be tiring. As it is, I know for someone else at least, it's fun. Of course, there are a few of the now family members (those lucky daughters in law) who might by now find it tiresome also, but that's what happens when you sign in to a family, I guess. Anyway we will have big discussions here, I'm sure...the value of foods (mushrooms, asparagus and tomatoes among others) worry about the proper way to install a new roof... The guys are scheduled to go shoot. An egg hunt is in the offing. (First one ever) and then there will be the logistics of a church service. These are the best days of all. I will have pictures and more by my next posting.

I ran across this video on you tube awhile ago and thought it was pretty hilarious. Hope you haven't had a chance to see it and get to enjoy it here. They're right up to date! Just click on the first picture to get it started!

On hiding

I finished reading Stasi Eldridge's Captivating last week. That's a five star book and I highly recommend it! I really need to go back and get a copy of my own so I can underline, copy and think on it further. It's always scary for me to look at the mirror of self. I'm usually not too pleased with what I see. But in this respect, the authors are very encouraging and hold out hope for women and for me specifically.

At one point they talk about a woman 'hiding' because of wounds to her soul and spirit. I find that that hits the nail right on the head for me and describs what I tend to do, very well. It's funny, I used to have dreams, often, about hiding. About running and running and running and finding ways to hide...from my family mostly. They are talking about a way of keeping the self hidden so no one will see the flaws or the hurts or let self be opened up to be wounded by others again. It includes the one thing that I tend to do when I'm hiding: clam up in a group. I see myself slipping into the hiding mode when I feel rebuked or critisized; when things don't meet my expectations; when I feel like I've failed in...almost anything; Or that big fear "what if they don't like me?" What's worse for me is that I see others thinking that my behavior is their fault. I can't tell you how many people I've offended because I can't share what's really going on in me. I really don't want to tell anyone that I'm afraid, or that I've done it wrong. It leaves me in despair.

Well, I need to get the book and re read this section so I can get out of the funk that I'm in. Off to the library! Ha!

choices

So. I have 4 books here at home that I'm working on- though I've discovered I can only really do 2 well. I just had to get the book "Wicked" to see what I missed because I only saw the show. I have to say I'm not going to get too far in this one and i'm really glad I didn't do my usual: read the book before seeing the movie, play whatever. I have not been very impressed so far, though I'm only on page 40. Yikes! I must say they didn't leave out anything too important in the play!! Then per recommendation I got Donald Miller's "Searching for God Knows What" to start. I am excited about that because his Blue Like Jazz was so wonderful. I have a feeling you'll be hearing more on that regard. Then I just have to continue and recommend you try Captivating by Jon and Stasi Eldridge. (even a guy would do well with this one) That was a powerful book for a woman's heart. They had words I needed to hear. It would make a good book discussion group. One more...I love my MP3 player! I am listening to Digging to America by Anne Tyler. Doing two things at once is my kinda thing to do!! (i.e. exercise, read) For anyone who has adopted or is planning to this is a wonderful story! So there you have my Saturday. Reading. It's a great way to spend a rainy day when the family is away!

Baseball and Horses

So this story has to be one of my favorites. For one thing, it helps me remember the mind of a junior highschool age kid. They don't know why they do things the way they do sometimes.

One beautiful summer day my girlfriend and I decided to ride our horses into town (pop. 300 maybe) Other kids in town always looked at us in awe when we were on the horses! (after all they couldn't even own a horse in town!) That was probably the best part of the ride. Creating jealousy wherever we went! It was perhaps a 1/2 hour ride into town and then after spending another 1/2 hour showing off ,someone invited us to come play baseball with them. Next to horses, baseball was my absolute favorite thing to do! (I won't go into the details of how sorry I often felt for myself that I was a girl and so couldn't actually play on a "real" team.) So we tied our horses up and walked to the ball field. ( I should add here that the baseball field was probably 6-10 blocks away from where we tied our horses. And that our hitching post was someone's-read someone unknown to us-back porch wrought iron railing) It was a grand game! Until someone came running out to the field yelling at me "Hey! Are you the guys with the horses? Well they're loose!" Sure enough. We found my horse at least, running through the streets still tied to his railing, dragging it along behind him!

My father paid for the damages and we were both forbidden to EVER ride into town again. I was lucky I didn't have to somehow come up with the money myself. The privelege of riding into town was a sad loss, too. It of course, creates more problems down the road.

Camping here we come!

Can you believe we are planning for our camping trips this summer already?! I can't wait. This has got to be on my list of best things to do in a year. It will be a bit harder this year since we won't have a camper, at least not to start with. That probably means weekend trips. Using the tent. Back to roughing it. Our first trip looks like one to beautiful Lanesboro, Mn. There's just something about being outside and letting Ron do all the cooking that thrills me. (I also love to canoe and to bike and I get lots of that there) Anyone else interested in coming along? We always have room for one more adventerous spirit! And the big question...Does anyone have any suggestions about great camping places? Post them please!

ABJECT Fear

From the moment we are born we are dying. Everyone of us. And none of us gets out of this life alive. At least that's what they tell me. We are a culture that ignores, avoids, and even covers up death. We celebrate youth. We hide our old away in nursing homes and hope they have the dignity not to bother us. I am ashamed. My friend in Arizona was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Since I'm not too intuned to death, disease or cancer I only have a vague idea that this isn't good. But I think to myself, "She's down there anyway". I had a terrible dreams and struggles when we visited in January. What should I tell her? How should I share about her one and only hope? I was in agony. But, I was able to keep my mouth shut and not ask any questions that would probe too deeply or wander too far into the spiritual. I was worried about embarrassing her or myself . Never mind that I know she is not a christian. Then today we get the news that a co worker of Ron's wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer. (funny to say it that way. We all have terminal something. It's in everyone's future) But as horrible as dying young of a cancer is how much worse to die and not have found or heard about the gift. Life. Eternal. That thing that I have spent 30 plus years giving at least lip service to. I proclaim myself to be a 'believer'. But this. It will prove whether I can really trust what God is saying to me in such practical terms that there will be no going back. What's worse, Though I know I can't avoid going and sharing, I am terrified. I must do this. I can't do this. What if... well, But it is a matter of trust.